THE DAY OF THE IGUANA Nothing unusual happened today—unless you count that thing with the iguana… There I was, sitting on my front porch with my feet up minding my own business, staring out at a desert full of cactus, creosote bushes, and tumbleweeds, when the dang iguana wandered up on the porch. He stood…
Streets and Deep Holes Ever stop to think of all the wrong streets you walk down and all the deep holes and cracks you fall into? Then, do you scratch and claw your way out, all while blaming someone else for your choice of streets and subsequent potholes? Streets and deep holes, in this instance, is metaphor of the…
Blue Egg On My Face Early one Fall morning, I hurried out of the shower, threw on my clothes and rushed to the grocery, not bothering to dry my hair or put on my usual makeup. It’s early, I thought, I won’t see anyone I know. Not to be outdone, fate caused a chilly wind…
Baubo the Belly Goddess There’s an old woman—a wild woman if you please—who lives in the hearts of women everywhere. She’s the cheeky little goddess named Baubo, the goddess of mirth. She kicks and dances, sometimes with suggestive moves, as she roars and cackles, reminding women that laughter—belly shaking laughter—is good for us. But not…
Old Dogs and Blue Leopards Not only can old dogs learn new tricks but leopards can also change their spots. You don’t believe me? I tell you it is true. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. For you see, I am that old dog leaping backwards over an inflamed barrel. I’m also the blue…
WITH THESE THREE, YOU GET A GOLD STAR Life moves so fast that, before we know it, we’ve stacked up a bunch of years trailing off behind us. One of my core beliefs is that I came into this world with a set of lessons to learn, and if I don’t learn them in this…
Rules, Rules, Rules I have always been a rules player. (Most of the time.) It is important to me to know the rules, so I can keep them. What really bugs me is when someone changes the rules mid-stream without telling me, and jumps on me because I didn’t keep a rule. However, that was…
Fairy Tales, Glass Slippers, And Big Foot Women Once upon a time in a land east of the sun and west of the moon, lived a whiney old crone named Drizelda. She sat outside the golden gates of the Queen’s Palace, wailing over fate’s misfortune. Beautiful in her youth, according to her mother, at least,…
An Unordinary Ordinary Book You already knew that didn’t you? The peculiar title gave it away. Writing something like this, I suppose, takes an extraordinary ordinary woman. I am delighted you picked up this copy, as we have a fascinating, enlightening, and fun journey ahead. Reflecting on my past, I ponder how I became such…
The Bone Collector THE BONE COLLECTOR There’s an old woman—a wild woman, I hear, who hides in a place that everyone knows about, but few have ever seen. She’s hairy and fat and makes more animal sounds than human. She crows and cackles and wails over would-be storytellers, begging them to come and sing along…